What if today is the day that everything changes?
Life seems to be piling up, and I just can’t shovel fast enough. My intuition tells me to move faster, to do more, but God is waiting for me to just stop. Go to Him in the quiet, take a deep breath, and ask Him for guidance. I am being surrounded by the things I need to hear right now. It’s time to live life more intentionally. It’s time to make time for the things that are important, it’s time to ask for more out of life, to get more out of life. But not by the ways conventional wisdom has wired me to believe. Having more, being fulfilled, feeling satiated does not come from working harder, from putting in more hours, or by making more money. It comes from pulling back in my life, and allowing space for the important things to take shape.
I feel as though this is a lesson for me a long time in the making. But just now am I really listening. Just now am I taking action and creating the life I’m meant to live. My heart has been prepared for this over the past 18 months, but it is finally time. In fact, it’s probably past time. I have been surrounded by so many different people, different messages, in different venues, all saying the same thing. Go for the impossible. Live your dream. Have it all. I think the biggest struggle I have had since becoming a mom is in trying to have it all. I have to change my mindset from having it all, (being the sum of everyone’s different definitions of having it all) to having everything that matters to me. That is my all. How do I define that? Why does it matter how anyone else defines it? It shouldn’t. And the older I get, the more confident in that I become, little by little. The more I lean into God, the more confident I am in His plan, and His guidance, instead of my own, which was leading me to a life that is too busy, too full, and missing the stuff that really matters.
In unexpected places, from unexpected people, I’m hearing over and over again that my life needs to take a different shape. And finally, I’m convinced. I have two new favorite authors (and all around women) that have spoken so much wisdom into my life through their books, their blogs, and their love for Christ. (Emily Ley & Lara Casey) I’m surrounded by a group of loving, Christian women that lift me up and encourage me each and every month. They have been gently nudging me to make the changes. But the final piece of this was at my Annual Global Meeting for work of all places, at the beginning of the month. Our regional lead, the week before, in a quiet moment in the car driving back from a client asked how things were at home. Was I finding the right blend and the time with my small children that I needed? At the meeting, one of our female executives shared that she pushed all new moms to take time for themselves. She asks if they are taking time to exercise, encouraging them to come in late, to leave early, but to ensure they get that time for themselves. And our introductory keynote speaker of the conference was Mike Rayburn. A musician, a comedian, a motivational speaker, a Christian. His talk was about setting impossible goals for yourself. Stretching yourself farther than you ever thought possible, and going after those goals. Achieving the impossible. By asking What If. What if it were possible?
I came home from that 3 day meeting so energized, so encouraged, and so courageous. It was time to make some changes in my life. What If I could change my schedule to allow me the time to make dinner for my family after work? What if I could workout regularly again without sacrificing time with my family, and without sacrificing quality and productivity at work? What if my husband and I took more time to connect, to talk, to be together? So, I went through the mental exercise (and documented it) to determine what it is that I really wanted, what my heart really needed. What does having it all really look like for me? Working outside the home is part of what makes me tick. So blending work and family is critical for me. I need the physical and the mental release of working out regularly. And my heart needs that special, sacred time with my husband and my children. So, I identified a few changes to my schedule so that I could fit all of those things into my life. And even just in these first weeks, I am so much more motivated at work, getting more done in a smaller amount of time each day. I’ve set goals for myself at work, stretching far beyond what the expectations are of someone at my level, with my role at the company. I have achieved so much more in these past weeks, both at home, with my kids, with my husband, and in my job. I have cooked dinner with the kids. I have worked out three to four times per week. I have gone to school functions with both my kids. I have talked, really talked to my husband this week, and we have really connected.
I know not every week will be this good. I know there will be weeks where I stumble. And God has prepared me for that as well. By giving myself the grace that I would my children, I will just do better the next week. Making progress, not striving for perfection, but progress, building momentum, that’s a win.
I hope and encourage every one of you feeling overwhelmed, feeling busy, but not fulfilled, to slow down. Slow down so that you can discover the direction you’re meant to go in this season of your life. That you take inventory of those things that really matter to you, and let go of the rest. And then that you strive for impossible goals, and that you grant yourself grace each time you fall short. But that you continue to get back up and keep moving. Pray every step of the way. And take the quiet time to hear His whisper to your heart, guiding you, and leading you.
What if today is the day that everything changes?